Release the Negativity

Release on Wiktionary.org is defined as to grant a new lease of; to let back; to let go (of); to cease to hold or contain; to make available to the public; to free or liberate; to set free and to discharge.

In this case, I am talking about letting go. Letting go of the negativity around you and in your lives; Letting go of bad feelings towards yourself for the inability to do something or the way you look; Letting go of the past; Letting go of jealousies and anxieties that keep you from moving forward in the present and future; Letting go of hurt and anger towards people; Letting go of people from your past that do nothing but cause you pain because of old feelings that may you may still feel. Let them all go. Free yourself from the self-imposed negative prison that you have inside you. You will feel like a new person.

Many people come to me for advice about their lives, relationships, and many other things. I tell them my opinion as I see things and they either use it or not. I am not a psychologist or therapist of any kind, and have never claimed to be. I just have a lot of life experience and have faced many different situations that give me a perspective from other people. I never turn my friends down when they need an ear but always tell them up front I can't solve their problems, only tell them what I think about the particular situation.

I have found that my ability to learn Italian is very slow going because I'm always speaking, reading, writing, and communicating in English even though I live in Italy. I get so frustrated at times that I develop headaches and sometimes seizures because of the pressure I put on myself from my own frustration at my inability to communicate or even retain what I have learned already, the way I once did 20 years ago. The way I learn, the very way I think has changed. I don't mean my feelings on things, but the physical way I think.

There are days when my Epilepsy is acting up and I literally have to think about everything I do step by step, before I do it. For example, making coffee is easy and natural and you don't think, you just do it. Well, I am that way also most of the time. But at times, I have to think open the door, grab the coffee, open the top, put it in the machine, close the machine and etc. Do I get frustrated? Yes. Do I put myself down? I used to but now after almost four years healing and being guided and loved by Padrone, I am much better. I have learned to release the frustrations and anxieties that I held on to for so long.

What in your life can you release to help yourself move forward and lighten up? Are there people from your past that you are still in contact with that you shouldn't be? Are there feelings that hurt you for that person? Cut the contact and let the feelings go. You aren't doing your mind, emotions or body any good to hang on to something or someone that only bring you down. Is there someone that just annoys you solely because they breath? Someone that you are jealous of for whatever reason? Someone at work that you can't stand and want to smack in the head with a stapler every time you see them? LET THEM GO!

I understand that we all have people and situations we have to face and deal with that are unavoidable (work, family) but you have the choice in whether you allow them to make you feel frustrated, small, and angry. You have the choice to choose not to go down that negative road, no matter how much that negative person or situation wants to pull you. Make the positive choice and take the positive path. As soon as possible, let go of the frustration, hurt or negative feelings having to deal with these unavoidable situations can put you in.

Do you look down on yourself because of your weight, hair, age, new wrinkles or something else? STOP IT! We are all different. We all, men and women, have many things we don't like about ourselves. But I say love how you look as you are right now! If there are things you want to change, then work on it. but do it for yourself, not for anyone else.

I have changed a lot in the past three and a half years. I have lost and gained weight. Allowed my hair to grow longer. Started wearing dresses and very feminine clothing that I am very comfortable in. My outlook on life has definitely changed along with my growing knowledge of the world around me. Do I look better? I think so. Did I think I was ugly before? No. Do I feel better? Most definitely.

The main thing that has made me much better has been the loving, protected, understanding environment that my fiance, Padrone Marco, has provided me. He has encouraged but not pushed me to change in many of the ways I mentioned above. Most of all, he has allowed me to feel secure with who I am as a person. My outlook on life and my very thinking has grown in many ways, while retaining my own core values that I have always believed in.

Release the negativity and allow yourself the freedom to feel good. Carrying around so much negativity towards people or events can actually affect your mental and physical health. And for what? Because we as humans naturally tend to dwell on more negative items and hang on to the past. Well, its time to try to change your thinking.

It's much easier said than done. Trust me. I live and practice it every day. I have so many things that I can't do or want to do, but because of the Epilepsy or something else, can't. I have learned to live and cope with it. To deal with my limitations but find ways around them. I adapt. Does it take me longer to do stuff? Yes. Do I still have the ability to learn? Yes. Will I give up? No! I have become one of the best adaptive persons that I know. I am very proud of myself for that.

If I can learn and adapt, so can you. Take the time to sit back and just think about who and/or what brings a lot of negativity to your life. Ask yourself how many hours have you wasted, how much brain power, how much hurt, frustration, pain has this person or event brought to you from dwelling on it? When you think about it, you will be amazed at the time and effort wasted.

Remember, life is short. Life is beautiful. We are all meant to be loved and to love. We all have the ability within ourselves to shape our own little piece of this vast world into whatever we want it to be. For some it will be fast, for others it will be slow. Some will have to try and try again. Others will just plow straight through. But you see, that is one of the things that makes life so wonderful; The different paths that each one of us travel and the meeting and crossing of other roads as we make our journey. So why walk the path with so much extra negativity and baggage weighing you down? RELEASE it and travel lighter, in your heart and soul.

We only have this one go around, so fill it with as many rainbows and smiles, as much laughter and love as you can.

Ethics - It's All About Perspective

We all grew up with a certain set of values, handed down from our parents, family, friends and surroundings. We develop our own ethics and change as we grow older, explore, and learn about the world around us. What makes your ethics better than your neighbors? Who says you are right and they are not?

Ethics is defined in Wikipedia as a moral philosophy, a branch of philosophy that addresses questions about morality — that is, concepts such as good and evil, right and wrong, virtue and vice, justice and crime, etc. The basics are 90% of the world's belief system such as don't steal and don't kill. There are many ethics that are defined by different people different ways, such as sexual orientation or preferences, religion, friendship choices, drinking, smoking or drug choices. A religious person might say that 2 people of the same sex that love each other is wrong or someone else that doesn't understand certain sexual preferences might condemn all who practice certain beliefs.

I have had many health issues and a couple of close calls with life and death in my life that have made me who I am today and changed how I view the world around me. I see life as a precious gift that you should embrace with both arms, run to greet everyday, enjoy and live to the fullest you possibly can. I don't want to be one of those people that is too afraid of what others think, or to rock the boat, to pursue life. I want to live with as little 'what ifs' and regrets as possible. Now, I admit I do regret that I can't have my children here with me and my Padrone, to enjoy Italy and a true loving situation between two people. I know that my decision has affected them in many ways. I accept that and take total responsibility for it. But, I hope they will come to know the complete truth when they are older and see why I did what I did.

Now, enough about me and why I chose this topic. I want you to take a deep look inside yourself and ask are you a judgmental person? If you are, why? What makes you so right about something? If a person is living their life and not hurting anyone, if everything they do is legal and consensual, then who are you to judge? What in your own life could be judged as wrong and against the laws of nature? What things do you do in your own daily lives that others can say 'that is not right and completely wrong'? I'm sure if you take an honest look at yourself, your own life and beliefs, your family and friends, you will discover many. There are many types of people in this world. That is one of the things that makes it such a wondrous place to live! Of course there are bad, mean, and evil people. I am not talking about those people. I am talking about everyone else. The average person.

Did you know that the 'average' person in fact lives a double standard, if not a double life? It could be your neighbor, your relative, your spouse, your priest, anyone... During the day, they work a regular job. They have families that they love and take care of. They are coaches for their kids ball teams. They participate a lot in the PTA. They do everything to make everyone around them think they are 'normal', that they are just like their neighbors. But when no one is looking, whether it is behind closed doors or online in a virtual world, many people have alternate personalities.

Behind closed doors, they yell and beat their kids or their wives. Behind closed doors, they have dirty, nasty sex that would be condemned by the majority of the populous. Behind closed doors, they are addicted to drugs and alcohol. Behind closed doors, they create alternate personalities and fantasize about being with someone of the same sex, what it would be like to have more than one partner, or to indulge in some kind of 'weird' fetish. I know many of you fit into one of these categories. You will never admit it to anyone in the light of day, to your partners or spouse, your friends or family, even some of you, to yourselves.

It is perfectly fine to have fantasies. It's fine to indulge in consensual, alternative sex practice. It's natural to indulge in consensual fetishes. All of it is ok as long as no one is hurt, everyone is consensual, and overage, and its not illegal. And if it's illegal, well, if it's done to yourself, then that is your choice. My point is take a good hard look at yourself and your thoughts. Open your mind to new possibilities, and don't judge other so harshly because of your own hang ups or beliefs.

Just because you believe something is wrong, does not mean it is. Remember, there is always someone waiting to judge you.

Confidence - Within and Without

Sometimes our own minds are our worst enemies. They makes us think things that are just not true. Stuff like we aren't sexy, beautiful, or feminine enough. That we are too fat, too short, too ugly. That we are not smart, good or useful.

Our minds and the media will screw our self esteem and heads many times over. And all of the above statements are total bullshit. I have the same self doubts on things just as many of you do. I do feel that I am not feminine enough a lot of times for my Padrone. I do wish at times that I were sexier, or at least knew how to be sexier, dress sexier, without all of my body parts hanging out; act sexier, but not in a slutty way. Though, there is a time and place for that. I like short hair. It's easier to maintain. But on me, I think long hair is better and I have been told that it does by several people, strangers and friends alike. Am I confident enough to pull off the short and the long? Yes.

I am confident in how I look with my hair and I am pretty confident with my body. Do I want to loose more weight? Of course. What woman that isn't thin, do you know that would not like to loose even 5 pounds? But I refuse to do anything stupid, like some weird diet or exercise until I drop. And I definitely refuse to give up foods I like to eat. Life is short and about enjoyment. We should eat, laugh and love as much as we can. All in moderation, obviously, but you get my drift. Now, I have cut out a lot of sugar for health reasons, but am addicted to Italian pastries and chocolate. I have seen many changes, in not only my body, but my health, emotional and mental well being since moving almost four years ago.

There are little things in daily life that I do, and am starting to do, to make changes or improvements to me. But these are not things that anyone or my Padrone has said 'I want you to...'. These are change I have chosen to make, and luckily have been well supported by my very loving fiance, Marco. One change is that I wear makeup a lot more than I have in the past 10 years. It takes no time to put on and I don't do all the products to look like a clown. A very light color, little lipstick and eyeliner and bam! Makes a big difference and I know that I look good. See, what I am finding is that when I absolutely think and know within myself that I look good, it makes me feel good and no matter what anyone thinks or says, I know that I love me as I am and as I look.

Another change that I've made is by wearing a dress every more often. They are not as practical as pants, but they do make me feel and look a lot great and are a huge confidence booster. I have started wearing clothes that are more form fitting, versus wearing ones that are very baggy. I got into the whole trap, that if you are a big girl, you need to hide all your body parts. That is simply not true. Women of all shapes and sizes can look beautiful and classy, or sexy dressed in form fitting clothes. They will not only give you a confidence boost, but also might get you some nice looks from others, that will in turn help boost your confidence. I am not saying to go out with your boobies or butts hanging out. Not at all! Just sexy, but classy. I actually don't show much skin, because, for one its winter. And two, I don't like to. Why show cleavage when I can wear a form fitting shirt that shows my shape without actually giving away the goods?

I hope you find the confidence that I have. With confidence in yourself and your abilities, you have no limits to what you can accomplish! Start now by implementing little things that will help you see yourself in a more positive light. Stay Comfortable and true to yourself, but learn that change is good and many times, can bring about amazing results.

When To Give In

Is there a time when one really should give up? Is there a good enough reason in life or in love that giving up is an option? I do wonder about this. I have many times in my life, thought about giving up and saying just 'Fuck it' and throw my hands up in the air. But, I don't normally do that, so I still keep on trucking.

I have faced many hard choices in life and walked down those paths with caution, but sometimes with exuberance. I do admit that I have some regrets about some choices, but I would not be where I am now, in life, if I had not taken those paths. I am not a confrontational person. There have been times in my life that I wanted to scream, shout, punch and just get all the anger out of my system, but I can't because of the possibility of setting off a seizure so I have taught myself to let it go and roll on.

Now, there are some cases in which I do care and my body and emotions react in a way that makes the situation worse because of others involved, but it is a reaction that I can not control, no matter how long and how much I have tried. But, I still don't give up. I have said over and over again that you should always be positive and not give up no matter what you were doing. But really, are there situations which it would be better to just walk away?

I have had a couple of situations where I knew I was right. I stated that fact many times, and was still told I was not. Instead of continuing to argue or disagreeing, I shut up and just roll on. But, a couple of hours later, in many situations, it came out that I was right. I don't say anything, don't say I told you so and never rub it in. Why? I'm not a vengeful person and its not worth it. I just think to myself, yeah, i knew that and roll on. This is one example that I think giving up is ok. If it ends an argument that is not that important, or if it saves headache and heartache, then let it go and give up that fight. If it comes out in the end that hey, you were right, excellent. If not, well, you didn't get stressed about certain things that didn't mean that much in the Circle of Life.

If you believe in something, and that something is a very important decision, situation, or something else, then argue until you turn blue or just can't anymore. But, if its not life threatening, life changing, or anything that will actually affect you in a very personal way, let it pass and roll on.

I am so not saying don't keep a positive attitude. I am not saying don't fight for your rights or what you believe in. If you feel extrememly strongly about a subject, and it will affect your life, then go for it. I am just giving you my opinion and advice. You can do with it in your own life as you will. The one thing that will never change is that we were all born with a free will. We may not utilize it alot, or we may be in circumstances in which we don't think we can just roll, but we all have choices.

The point to all the above ramblings is not to discourage, but to encourage and show you a different way. To tell you to take a step back and examine each and every situation and see for yourself is it worth it.

Welcome to the Other Side of Me

Thank you for visiting my new blog! Many of you may know me from my other blog BDSM Unveiled, in which I talk about a variety of subjects concerning the BDSM Lifestyle. In this blog, you will get to see the other side of me. While I am and will always be a submissive/slave to my Padrone Marco, I do have many things that I think about, explore, and try to learn more about. What do I mean by that?

Well, I love technology, science, health, animals, nature, politics, history, people, cultures, and food. I have so many interests that actually never get written about. I love to write and share my experiences and opinions with the world. I admit sometimes I rant, sometimes I try to make a point, while other times I just ramble. But it's still all a part of who I am.

I don't know when I will post and never know what the subject will entail, but I do know that everything I write comes from my heart and own thoughts. Most of the time when I write a post, it is always in an attempt to help someone in the big wide world that might be going through a similar situation that I had encountered. Other times, it might be something I just thought was funny.

So, I hope you become a follower of this blog and hope to see you all back here often!

Thank you