Do You Still Believe in Hope?

Do you still believe in Hope? I hope so, because I do. Many of us in today's upside down, crazy, scary world are living on hope alone. We strive to make our slice of the world better every day with just one step at a time, not only for ourselves but for the ones we love as well. Are you one of those people?

Many of you are in a circle or holding pattern in life right now, due to work situations, money, the economy, family issues, etc. You can't see an end because you continue to go around in circles, ending up back in the same spot you are currently in. Taking steps, even very small ones, can help change that and get you back on the correct path. By following a few key steps, and keeping them clearly defined, you can reach your goal and change how you live your life.

Here is a very loose guideline that I try and use for myself. I hope you can adjust it to your own life.

1. Think large and outside the box!

Ok, I know this might be cliché, but it is true! If you set a large goal that is reachable in real life, not something absolutely impossible, and take the steps, even small ones to reach it, you can achieve it! Thinking slightly differently or outside the box, but not in a completely radicle way, can greatly improve or change your path in life also.


2. Put aside petty issues, negative thoughts, and negative people!

Don't sweat the small stuff. Keep your thoughts OFF those things and people that you can not change. You are wasting valuable brain power and time on negative thoughts. If you always stay in the negative, you can not go foward and will never be on that positive path to a better life. Negativity from many sources around us, including people and places, impact our daily lives much more than we usually realize. Take the time to clean up the negative and replace with positive.


3. Positive Attitude!

A big portion of changing ones life and creating a path you really want to be on, is about attitude. Keep only a positive attitude from this point forward! Never give up or give in. This is a lot harder than it sounds. I know from experience! I am usually a very positive person but I do have my moments in which negative thoughts try to pull me into that dark void. Keep as many negative people out of your lives as possible. If you can't ignore or cut loose the negative people, then make an effort to be even more positive around them. Maybe your positiveness will rub off on them!


4. Keep your clearly defined goal in your mind at all times.

This can be very hard. I know because it is for me. But, once you have it in there, don't let anyone or anything persuade you from reaching it. It may, and most likely will, take time and A LOT of hard work, but it is still your goal. No matter what it is, go for it! Make everything you do everyday, in some way, related to reaching your goal, your dream. Train your thoughts to be something like: That first cup of coffee helps you wake up so you can begin your day and start getting closer to your ultimate goal. That morning shower helps you get ready to face the day and be your best for whatever tasks you set out to accomplish that day. Relating little everyday things can help you focus your mind on your goal.


5. Rely on a special loved one that will and can help you reach your dreams and goals.

I am extremely lucky because I am blessed with a fantastically positive, outgoing, smart, very loving and supportive person in my life that encourages me, helps me, and gives me the confidence to reach for the stars. He has inspired me to do many things that I never thought I would ever be able to do for one reason or another. He is my rock and my safe haven. He guides me when I ask, advices me when needed, and lets me fly free when I want to. If you have someone that you can rely on to be your rock, grab on to them and share every dream you have. That one person might make the difference in your own life and how and if you attain your dreams.

Don't let the nay sayers around you influence you. If that had happened, Apple would not be what it is today. I'm not saying that you will be the next best inventor in the world, but who knows? It could happen.


Keep your mind clear and positive! And above all, dare to Hope!

Really Living Life - Not Just Existing

You all know I have Epilepsy and have been pretty open with the sometimes daily struggles that I deal with because of it. Well, this past week has been, for lack of better terminology, a bitch! I have suffered from many different side affects of my Epilepsy and have not been able to perform many of my normal functions. That's one reason the blog posts have not been as frequent as they were in the beginning.

I will be doing well, then boom! My speech gets slurred, my arm starts jerking and off I go into another attack! Now, of course, I get frustrated and annoyed, but what can I do? Not a darn thing. I just have to wait it out. Padrone tells me to don't worry, clear my mind and to not get frustrated. He held me for a long time until my seizure subsided and I fell asleep. Now, this is not a cure, but it helps tremendously. Obviously, there is no cure currently for Epilepsy and the weird type I have doesn't respond to any medicines currently on the market.

While I do hate having Epilepsy and dealing with attacks and side affects, it has given me a different perspective and appreciation for life. I know the value of family and true friendships. I love to be held and feel protected and not judged by Padrone. I know the value of seeing the sun rise again and the moon set. I appreciate the nature I see around me and the seasons of change that I keep experiencing. I love the sound of birds chirping in the morning, dogs playing, and children laughing. I love seeing elderly people walking and talking in the park or seeing families having breakfast together at a coffee bar. I simply appreciate Life and all it has to offer.

Now you might be thinking I sound like some kind of New Age Hippie or just a weirdo. I am neither. I am just a simple person that has experienced many things in my life that has shaped who I am and changed my beliefs over time. I know most of you are telling yourselves that you appreciate life and things around you also. That you already like the simple things in your own lives. But have you really slowed down to appreciate it? When was the last time you stopped to watch the sun set or rise? When was the last time you stepped outside to stare at the moon and gaze at the stars? When was the last time you stopped whatever you were doing, even if just for a few minutes, on a warm, windy day just to feel the wind brush against your skin and clothes? When was the last time you were out and came across flowers that were so beautiful and colorful that you had to stop and sniff or snap a picture with your cell phone? When was the last time you just took a couple of hours for yourself or yourself and loved ones to sit in a park and appreciate the nature around you or watch the people and animals teaming with life? This is what I mean when I say appreciate the simpler things life has to offer.

Most of us are to busy trying to keep up with our neighbors, buy the newest gadget, make deadlines for work or school, keep up with family projects and chores, and so many other things that are too many to name. We are too busy to realize that we have complicated our lives so much, with living them daily and running to keep up with the rat race that we don't slow down to appreciate what is around us, the very basis of life, the simple things. We let life run us and then before you know it, a week, month and perhaps a year has passed right before our eyes. All while we have been so busy with 'living' but not really living.

How can we say we are living our lives to the fullest if we are not grateful for every sunrise and sunset? How are we able to say that we appreciate life if we don't stop every now and then to just be; to just sit still, take a break from the fast paced, daily grind of life and just think nothing? I know it's hard to find time because we all have many things we do, almost 24 hours a day. We all have commitments, work, families, friends, school, etc etc etc.... Do you see a pattern to this yet? If you don't force yourself to take even 5 minutes a day, out of your crazy busy schedule, how can you say you really appreciate what life has to offer you because you are too busy living it?

So, I encourage and challenge each one of you to slow down once during the day and just sit for 5 minutes gazing out of the window. Take a walk through the park at lunch. If its rainy, cold, icky, or you just don't like outdoors, go to a mall or cafeteria and people watch. Enjoy the laughter around you. Just try to enjoy life and not to just live it. There is so much more to life than that.

Always remember to love deeply and truly, live fully and take risks. You never know what path your life could take.

Release the Negativity

Release on Wiktionary.org is defined as to grant a new lease of; to let back; to let go (of); to cease to hold or contain; to make available to the public; to free or liberate; to set free and to discharge.

In this case, I am talking about letting go. Letting go of the negativity around you and in your lives; Letting go of bad feelings towards yourself for the inability to do something or the way you look; Letting go of the past; Letting go of jealousies and anxieties that keep you from moving forward in the present and future; Letting go of hurt and anger towards people; Letting go of people from your past that do nothing but cause you pain because of old feelings that may you may still feel. Let them all go. Free yourself from the self-imposed negative prison that you have inside you. You will feel like a new person.

Many people come to me for advice about their lives, relationships, and many other things. I tell them my opinion as I see things and they either use it or not. I am not a psychologist or therapist of any kind, and have never claimed to be. I just have a lot of life experience and have faced many different situations that give me a perspective from other people. I never turn my friends down when they need an ear but always tell them up front I can't solve their problems, only tell them what I think about the particular situation.

I have found that my ability to learn Italian is very slow going because I'm always speaking, reading, writing, and communicating in English even though I live in Italy. I get so frustrated at times that I develop headaches and sometimes seizures because of the pressure I put on myself from my own frustration at my inability to communicate or even retain what I have learned already, the way I once did 20 years ago. The way I learn, the very way I think has changed. I don't mean my feelings on things, but the physical way I think.

There are days when my Epilepsy is acting up and I literally have to think about everything I do step by step, before I do it. For example, making coffee is easy and natural and you don't think, you just do it. Well, I am that way also most of the time. But at times, I have to think open the door, grab the coffee, open the top, put it in the machine, close the machine and etc. Do I get frustrated? Yes. Do I put myself down? I used to but now after almost four years healing and being guided and loved by Padrone, I am much better. I have learned to release the frustrations and anxieties that I held on to for so long.

What in your life can you release to help yourself move forward and lighten up? Are there people from your past that you are still in contact with that you shouldn't be? Are there feelings that hurt you for that person? Cut the contact and let the feelings go. You aren't doing your mind, emotions or body any good to hang on to something or someone that only bring you down. Is there someone that just annoys you solely because they breath? Someone that you are jealous of for whatever reason? Someone at work that you can't stand and want to smack in the head with a stapler every time you see them? LET THEM GO!

I understand that we all have people and situations we have to face and deal with that are unavoidable (work, family) but you have the choice in whether you allow them to make you feel frustrated, small, and angry. You have the choice to choose not to go down that negative road, no matter how much that negative person or situation wants to pull you. Make the positive choice and take the positive path. As soon as possible, let go of the frustration, hurt or negative feelings having to deal with these unavoidable situations can put you in.

Do you look down on yourself because of your weight, hair, age, new wrinkles or something else? STOP IT! We are all different. We all, men and women, have many things we don't like about ourselves. But I say love how you look as you are right now! If there are things you want to change, then work on it. but do it for yourself, not for anyone else.

I have changed a lot in the past three and a half years. I have lost and gained weight. Allowed my hair to grow longer. Started wearing dresses and very feminine clothing that I am very comfortable in. My outlook on life has definitely changed along with my growing knowledge of the world around me. Do I look better? I think so. Did I think I was ugly before? No. Do I feel better? Most definitely.

The main thing that has made me much better has been the loving, protected, understanding environment that my fiance, Padrone Marco, has provided me. He has encouraged but not pushed me to change in many of the ways I mentioned above. Most of all, he has allowed me to feel secure with who I am as a person. My outlook on life and my very thinking has grown in many ways, while retaining my own core values that I have always believed in.

Release the negativity and allow yourself the freedom to feel good. Carrying around so much negativity towards people or events can actually affect your mental and physical health. And for what? Because we as humans naturally tend to dwell on more negative items and hang on to the past. Well, its time to try to change your thinking.

It's much easier said than done. Trust me. I live and practice it every day. I have so many things that I can't do or want to do, but because of the Epilepsy or something else, can't. I have learned to live and cope with it. To deal with my limitations but find ways around them. I adapt. Does it take me longer to do stuff? Yes. Do I still have the ability to learn? Yes. Will I give up? No! I have become one of the best adaptive persons that I know. I am very proud of myself for that.

If I can learn and adapt, so can you. Take the time to sit back and just think about who and/or what brings a lot of negativity to your life. Ask yourself how many hours have you wasted, how much brain power, how much hurt, frustration, pain has this person or event brought to you from dwelling on it? When you think about it, you will be amazed at the time and effort wasted.

Remember, life is short. Life is beautiful. We are all meant to be loved and to love. We all have the ability within ourselves to shape our own little piece of this vast world into whatever we want it to be. For some it will be fast, for others it will be slow. Some will have to try and try again. Others will just plow straight through. But you see, that is one of the things that makes life so wonderful; The different paths that each one of us travel and the meeting and crossing of other roads as we make our journey. So why walk the path with so much extra negativity and baggage weighing you down? RELEASE it and travel lighter, in your heart and soul.

We only have this one go around, so fill it with as many rainbows and smiles, as much laughter and love as you can.

Ethics - It's All About Perspective

We all grew up with a certain set of values, handed down from our parents, family, friends and surroundings. We develop our own ethics and change as we grow older, explore, and learn about the world around us. What makes your ethics better than your neighbors? Who says you are right and they are not?

Ethics is defined in Wikipedia as a moral philosophy, a branch of philosophy that addresses questions about morality — that is, concepts such as good and evil, right and wrong, virtue and vice, justice and crime, etc. The basics are 90% of the world's belief system such as don't steal and don't kill. There are many ethics that are defined by different people different ways, such as sexual orientation or preferences, religion, friendship choices, drinking, smoking or drug choices. A religious person might say that 2 people of the same sex that love each other is wrong or someone else that doesn't understand certain sexual preferences might condemn all who practice certain beliefs.

I have had many health issues and a couple of close calls with life and death in my life that have made me who I am today and changed how I view the world around me. I see life as a precious gift that you should embrace with both arms, run to greet everyday, enjoy and live to the fullest you possibly can. I don't want to be one of those people that is too afraid of what others think, or to rock the boat, to pursue life. I want to live with as little 'what ifs' and regrets as possible. Now, I admit I do regret that I can't have my children here with me and my Padrone, to enjoy Italy and a true loving situation between two people. I know that my decision has affected them in many ways. I accept that and take total responsibility for it. But, I hope they will come to know the complete truth when they are older and see why I did what I did.

Now, enough about me and why I chose this topic. I want you to take a deep look inside yourself and ask are you a judgmental person? If you are, why? What makes you so right about something? If a person is living their life and not hurting anyone, if everything they do is legal and consensual, then who are you to judge? What in your own life could be judged as wrong and against the laws of nature? What things do you do in your own daily lives that others can say 'that is not right and completely wrong'? I'm sure if you take an honest look at yourself, your own life and beliefs, your family and friends, you will discover many. There are many types of people in this world. That is one of the things that makes it such a wondrous place to live! Of course there are bad, mean, and evil people. I am not talking about those people. I am talking about everyone else. The average person.

Did you know that the 'average' person in fact lives a double standard, if not a double life? It could be your neighbor, your relative, your spouse, your priest, anyone... During the day, they work a regular job. They have families that they love and take care of. They are coaches for their kids ball teams. They participate a lot in the PTA. They do everything to make everyone around them think they are 'normal', that they are just like their neighbors. But when no one is looking, whether it is behind closed doors or online in a virtual world, many people have alternate personalities.

Behind closed doors, they yell and beat their kids or their wives. Behind closed doors, they have dirty, nasty sex that would be condemned by the majority of the populous. Behind closed doors, they are addicted to drugs and alcohol. Behind closed doors, they create alternate personalities and fantasize about being with someone of the same sex, what it would be like to have more than one partner, or to indulge in some kind of 'weird' fetish. I know many of you fit into one of these categories. You will never admit it to anyone in the light of day, to your partners or spouse, your friends or family, even some of you, to yourselves.

It is perfectly fine to have fantasies. It's fine to indulge in consensual, alternative sex practice. It's natural to indulge in consensual fetishes. All of it is ok as long as no one is hurt, everyone is consensual, and overage, and its not illegal. And if it's illegal, well, if it's done to yourself, then that is your choice. My point is take a good hard look at yourself and your thoughts. Open your mind to new possibilities, and don't judge other so harshly because of your own hang ups or beliefs.

Just because you believe something is wrong, does not mean it is. Remember, there is always someone waiting to judge you.